Quit Whining, Jose

Jose, Jose...

When your beloved Chelsea lost in the past, you blamed the referees for picking on your all so pickable players.

When they lost again, you blamed the FA for fixture congestion. As if Chelsea was the only club which had to play several matches in a week.

Not so long ago, you complained again, this time about how some teams playing against Chelsea don't play to win.

And now, you're complaining about how the Liverpool players tried to force Drogba into conceding a yellow card in the Champions League semi-final.

Oh for heaven's sake stop whining already. Offer no more excuses.

Just admit it. You SUCK.

You've had all of your Russian boss' riches at your disposal, but all you could manage is assemble a team of expensive misfits that are only as capable as to get into a 1-0 lead and then defend with 11 men behind the ball thereafter half of the time.

I wouldn't be surprised if you argued the rationale behind such tactics is that the size of your testicles is just about as big as the grapes of Portugal.

Great managers don't just produce results, they are also men of integrity and dignity. That means they don't rant uncontrollably and talk cack like you do, Jose.

Little wonder you'll never be remembered as a great manager despite your exploits, much less receive the honour to be "Sir Jose Mourinho". Oh gosh.. Sir? Don't put the word to shame please.

Although I'm a Man Utd fan, I'd seriously rather Liverpool win the Champions League at your expense.

Now that you've just gotten five points adrift of Man Utd in the Premiership, who are you going to blame next? The ball-pickers? Or your mother for having a son so stupid he couldn't get his team to defend a 2-1 lead properly?

In any case, have fun against Arsenal next weekend.

Snowy @ 1 Year 2 Months

For once she doesn't fidget when facing the camera!

Bought a new toy for her


She's protective about it


And she fiddles with it all day


Well... Til she's wrestled off it

Foreign Talents

You've heard the words "foreign talents" many times. But what are foreign talents, and how can we define them?

Actually, I think they're hard to define. Some call them "asian talents". Others call them "talents from developing countries". A good number don't even consider them talents.

With the differing opinions, it's hard to provide a 100% accurate assessment. Nevertheless, I'll try and figure out what these talents are really talented at.

After all, there are 10 unmistakable qualities about these foreign talents we should not fail to notice...

1. They are actively involved in intimate after-hours activities at Geylang.

2. They talk loudly on buses in their native languages. Uhhh.. Did I say primitive?

3. They get into relationships with unsuspecting locals, and after pledging their love and commitment, run away with swindled money.

4. You walk into a grocery store and ask them in English if a certain item was in stock, and they stare blankly at you, all lost and confused, as if you were an alien who spoke Martian.

5. You order some fries at a fast food outlet, and after deliberating for a while, they walk behind to the kitchen area and reappear seconds later with some ice. After all, the two words sounded so similar!!

6. They help our crime rate look more realistic on paper, compared to other countries. Without them, the rate would be too unbelievably low!

7. You're in campus working on a project, and you overhear some err, how do I phrase this?.. talented foreign students? boasting about the countries they came from, about how the university students there were so much smarter, and how life was so much more interesting and better off back home. In that case, why didn't they just stay at home?

8. O Level results.. Mother Tongue - A1, English - F9.

9. Supposedly talented and plays an important part in our country's growth. Or at least that's what is being propagandised. Yet, before coming to Singapore, high chance they had planted more crops than they had written essays.

10. Last but not least, they are into the habit of demonstrating outside their national embassies when unhappy with certain aspects of life here.

There you go, the 10 unmistakable qualities for you.

With so many things already established as uniquely Singaporean, I think it's high time we decided what's uniquely foreign talent too.

Pet Shop In Joo Chiat?

Received a message from Char yesterday.

"There's a pet shop in Joo Chiat closing down tomorrow. They're giving away two huskies, one black labrador, one shih tzu and one huskie-terrier. If not they will be put down. Please call Mariam at 9***2064 to find out more."

And then, while I was having dinner with my family, I received another similar message from Rachel.

Well the fact is that I had informed many of my friends of this after I received Char's message, because I really really didn't want to see those dogs put down. But every of my friend who tried to reach this Mariam found her uncontactable.

I tried calling her as well, only to be greeted by the message "The Singtel mobile customer is unavailable. Please try again later."

I mean, who would make herself uncontactable from prospective adopters if she really wanted to help the dogs out?

I'm starting to consider the possibilities. Maybe this was one collaborative attempt to raise awareness for some pet shop in Joo Chiat on the part of the owners, because their "thriving" business was so hopeless and in need of help they decided to resort to such desperate measures.

Or maybe it was some chain spam sparked off by some sick individual, who decided it was about time he got some much sought after attention because he wasn't getting any from his family and friends due to him having none.

And to think I really thought the dogs were in need of some help at first!

Man Utd 7 Roma 1

Such a scintillating performance.

Such a fantastic result.

What a magical night.

A night that will be remembered for many years to come.

Curse Of The Black Pier

My friend and I were having lunch at Pizza Hut earlier when his phone rang.

"Hullo.. err.. you siowling the per... pearl?"

My friend looked bewildered. What pearl? So my friend said no and hung up.

After a while, we figured the caller could have been referring to the Pier, a property my agent friend listed on the papers a few days ago. But that's just a guess on our part.

In any case, unfortunately, the Pier had already been sold. While my friend does not have another Pier up for sale, and certainly not the Pearl, he wishes to recommend one of his acquaintance, Captain Jack Sparrow, to that potential buyer. We believe Captain Sparrow would be able to shed some light regarding the Pearl.

Unfortunately, Captain Sparrow is not in town currently and interested parties would have to go to World's End to carry out transactions with him.

The Truth About 6.5

Packed buses, packed trains, packed shopping malls, packed food courts are all you can see and you find yourself squeezing your way through the thousands that surround you.

I thought the overpopulation problem in Singapore was becoming quite real, so I went to gather some population statistics. And they were rather disturbing.

As of 2006, Singapore's population stands at 4.48 million. Although our most identical city in Hong Kong boasts a significantly higher population (7.04 million), their land area is larger too. Hong Kong has a land area of 1099 square kilometers but Singapore only has a land area of 699.4 square kilometers.

Therefore, although Hong Kong has a significantly higher population compared to Singapore, their population density (6407 persons per square km) is only slightly higher than ours (6208 persons per square km). This means we are almost as cramped as Hong Kong is, and your friends who have been to Hong Kong will tell you how bad the overpopulation problem there is.

So what's with the plans to increase our population to 6.5 million?

We want to be up there with the likes of Tokyo, New York, London and Hong Kong as one of the world's biggest cities, but we often forget or simply ignore the fact our land area is much smaller than theirs!

If we had a 6.5 million population, our population density would increase to 9293 persons per square km, far overtaking Hong Kong at 6407 persons per square km. This means we will be 45% more crowded than Hong Kong already is now!!!

And with the population boom will go our quality of life too.